16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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