remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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