That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
