How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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