i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
