That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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