I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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