He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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