he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's shark week go big or go home
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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