Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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