are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
