How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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