theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
