I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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