she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize