No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
