yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
