He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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