apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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