Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
only if we run a train.
done.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
