I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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