my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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