I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
