Soap is not a condiment
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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