Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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