Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
