NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
