every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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