is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
