im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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