i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
