I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
the liver wants what the liver wants
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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