Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I need to stop coming to work sober
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize