I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
