She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Randomize
