there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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