between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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