We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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