i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize