yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
