I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Holy shit dude........stairs
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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