So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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