I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
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I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
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Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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