You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
