i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
