so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize