Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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