The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
