I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
