Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I bet he comes in French.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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