Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
