so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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