never play flip cup with pint glasses
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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