Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
